It Has To Start With The Truth
“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake; and I will not remember your sins." Isaiah 43:25 Before writing this, I had spent time before the Father. I had brought to him a weakness I see in myself, something that I cannot control. A memory had come to me suggesting the source of this problem, so I brought it to the Lord. The memory involves a sin in my early childhood. As I pondered this memory, I had conflicting thoughts. Should I confess as sin something that was an incorrect reaction to a situation of hurt? As I thought to write on this, I wondered if people would understand it, because their first reaction would be like mine, to deny it as being sin. If I were to tell you that as a result of an injustice done to me when I was four-years-old, I reacted in sin, how many would understand the truth of that? Sin, in a 4-year-old? We see from the Book of Genesis, in the story of Adam and Eve and their sin, that people deal with sin by either denying it, justifying it, or blaming someone else for it. Let's look at this for a moment. If I told you the story of an injustice perpetrated upon a young child, which prompted a sinful reaction, would you try to excuse the sin? The injustice prompted anger and resentment so strong that I clearly see that what I am dealing with today actually started there, in that memory, in the incorrect reaction of a young child to an injustice. Here are some possible reactions of someone hearing this story: 1. A young child can't sin. 2. You can't expect a young child to have any other kind of reaction to an injustice like that. 3. It's totally understandable that the child would react that way, any child would. 4. Therefore, don't take on guilt because of it. But ...is sin sin? Is the question of whether or not a sin is a sin - determined by the age or maturity of the person experiencing it? One plus one equals two, regardless of the age or condition of a person to understand it, because it's a fact IN ITSELF. Sin is sin no matter what the circumstances are that prompted it, and no matter what the age the person was when committing it. Sin is sin BY ITS VERY NATURE. If I as an adult lie, that is sin. If I as a young child lie, it is sin, because sin is sin by its very nature, sin is sin IN ITSELF. I posit that even if a person sins without knowing that it is sin, that doesn't change the fact that it is sin, because sin is sin by its very nature. I had to go through this whole process of thought before bringing it to the Lord, because my first reaction when that memory came to me was that I was a very young child and the circumstance would have caused anyone to sin, so I can't be accused, can I? But that is missing the point. I didn't want to admit that the anger and desire for vengeance were sin, surely not to one as young as I was, but I couldn't deal with this before the Lord until I realized that it was sin regardless of the circumstances, and if I want to deal with what it caused in me, I had to start with the truth. So I did. I acknowledged that the anger, the rage, the wish for vengeance that I entertained at the age of four years, was sin. Period. And NOW ...I can ask for healing. Then when I came to my Scripture reading, this passage listed above that was in my reading of today acknowledged the Lord's acceptance of my confession, and his forgiveness given. That this would be in my reading today was not coincidence. He was confirming to me that he blotted out my transgression, because I first acknowledged it for what it was ...sin! Pray with me: Father God, I remember things from my early years that were unjust, that were cruel, painful things that happened to me which prompted reactions in me that your Word defines as sin. I can't come to you for healing until I am ready to acknowledge that those "unhealthy reactions" were actually sins, no matter how justified they seem to have been because of the circumstances. I bring to you my sins of hatred, of desire for vengeance, and I'm ready to acknowledge that regardless what prompted them - they remain ....sin. You are the way, the TRUTH, and the life. We can't proceed until we acknowledge truth, even painful truth. We have to start with TRUTH, and I'm ready to acknowledge the truth. Please come to those places inside me where these memories reside, and heal me. These reactions caused damage inside me, damage that has resulted in things over which I have no control to this day. Oh Father, heal the damage done to me, and set me free from those things that control me, the things over which I have no control because they are so ingrained in me and have been for all these years. I am ready to surrender to you, to your Word, and to cooperate with you as you lead me on the path to healing. With all my heart I thank you that I have a Father in heaven not waiting to smack me for sin, but to heal me from it. Please heal me and raise me up to maturity that I might have deeper fellowship with you, and be the more usable to you as I reach out to others and tell them of your power to heal.